Imagine a bowl of muddy water. If you try to sieve it, you may not remove all of the sand, and you might also lose some of the water. Instead, you can let the bowl sit still for a while. The silt will settle to the bottom, and you will be left with clear water on top.
In the same way, if you want to gain clarity about your emotions, you need to sit still with them. Don’t try to suppress or deny your emotions. Just let them be. Over time, the intensity of your emotions will subside, and you will be able to see them more clearly.
You don’t need to give up on anger or any other charged emotion. Just let it settle down before you act or react or respond. Once you have gained clarity about your emotions, you will be better able to make decisions and take action in a way that is aligned with your values.
The tool that can help you in this is meditation.